Tired of living in ChalkieVille

“Dear Chalkie, you better take your damn ass back to Chalkieville, telling me about Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and your little dog Princess. I got real world problems. I got bills to pay, family dying and a general propensity for violence. I pray for the day where I can have Chalkie problems like, ‘Starbucks only put two pumps of white carmel chocolate no one gives a fuck in my drink.’”